I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
