Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
