I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So vagazzling was a success
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
