i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
