I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
MIDGETS
????
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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