apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
