I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i believe in u and ur pee
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
