i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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