I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You are a genius and a whore.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
