Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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