Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize