Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!

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(516): View more from New York

i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car

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(858): View more from California

I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

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(805): View more from California

a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot

(818): View more from California

god is laughing at you again

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(845): View more from New York

I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me

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(727): View more from Florida

Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...

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(757): View more from Virginia

Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”

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