Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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