Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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