i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
