I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Randomize