I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
