Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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