Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
