Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
