So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Holy sore nipples Batman
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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