so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
