A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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