if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
