i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
