I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
