A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
