is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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