im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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