FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize