Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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