i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
