my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize