so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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