Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
