party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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