happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
