Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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