so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
