I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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