Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
