dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
