who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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