Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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