i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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