Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
