What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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