I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I lost the right to judge tonight
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
