Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize