Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
