i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
