we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
