she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize