Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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