I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
