it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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