Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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