the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The air was thick with penises
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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