smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
