I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
