Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
