is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
even my farts smell like vagina
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
