he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize