That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Will you blow on my dice?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
