Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
