hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
