if you like me you must not know who I am
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sorry my hands just texted you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
