that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
