I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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