At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
