we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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