How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
