My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
