Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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