he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
