They should really pass out barf bags in church
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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