I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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