He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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