i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
