Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The adults are the big ones right?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
