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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize