A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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