one two three fourrrrnication!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How does one acquire holy water?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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