it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize