What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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